Holiday greetings, friends! After I bragged about my kick-ass holiday letter writing skills here, I received several comments from my blogger pals that they wished they were on my Christmas letter list. That got me thinking…perhaps I should “send” a virtual holiday card on my blog!
So, I am taking my actual holiday letter, removing the boring parts, adding some colorful details that would be inappropriate for certain relatives to read, and you get the pleasure of trying to guess which parts made it into my “real” letter.

A handful of you who actually received my letter in the mail will be the only ones to know the truth…
So, without further delay, enjoy my holiday letter and photo!

Happy Holidays!

Greetings from Colorado! Happily for us all, 2012 was a much less eventful year than the previous two:  Stephanie finally stopped barfing and hasn’t fallen down the stairs or gotten in any car accidents this year! (Guess there is still over a week to go.)

Izzy turned 6 this year and is now a first grader. We regret the fact that we complained so much about her interest in princesses, and we can solemnly testify that what comes next is much, much worse. Every day involves the Parental Unit attempting to deflect requests to watch such bullshit programs as “Good Luck Charlie”, “Jessie” and “Austin and Ally”. If you are familiar with these entertainment atrocities, our sympathies are with you. In addition to having terrible taste in TV shows, Izzy also has the unfortunate predilection for listening to Kidz Bop. Izzy is a fantastic reader and writer, and those activities are her favorite ways to spend time right now, in addition to singing. Mommy is so proud! She is doing a great job in first grade, loves her fantastic teacher, and is coping better than her parents are with her DAILY homework.

Sophie’s interests have evolved only slightly from last year. (see previous holiday letter. We know you keep them. *In last year’s letter, Sophie’s paragraph stated simply: Sophie’s interests include: Mommy’s boobs.) In addition, she has added toddling and talking to her repertoire. We can only hope that she will introduce sleeping a full 12 hours straight to her list of accomplishments in 2013. She also demonstrates great aptitude in transferring Tupperware from one location to the next. We have already scheduled her appointment to be tested for the 2016 Gifted and Talented program.

Stephanie completed her 12th year teaching early childhood music classes this year, and continues to enjoy her part-time work schedule. Stephanie took the plunge in June and joined the blogging world. Between her purchase of her first ever iMac and her technical ineptitude when “designing” her blog, she has found new and exciting ways to feel like a complete dumbass. She would like to thank her faithful friends and family for their assistance, as she was dangerously close to standing on the street corner with a sign that reads, “Will turn tricks for tech support.”  She will be published in print next month as a contributing author to an anthology of local authors. Stephanie has been faithfully subsidizing coffee companies in an effort to combat her chronic sleep deprivation.

Shawn has been with the City  for 18 years now and continues to be uncomfortable discussing his professional and personal accomplishments. He has demonstrated his paternal love by adding a Katy Perry Pandora station to his iPhone. How the mighty have fallen. The highlight of his day involves his one year old daughter running to greet him after work and giving him a big hug. Despite his interest in watching programs where people mine for gold, have storage wars (what the f*ck is that show all about anyway?) pretend to hear ghosts in abandoned old buildings, and argue over the value of their pawn-able items, he is still pretty much the best husband ever. His fondness for listening to his wife talk in her ridiculous high-pitched “baby voice” has helped to keep the spark in their marriage alive.

We had a lot of wonderful visitors in 2012 as well, and we hope that they will return again soon despite our collective tendency to never flush any toilets.

Yes, that is a beer magnet.

Happy Holidays, to my friends in my “real world” and my blogosphere. I am truly grateful for all of you. xoxo
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