Sometimes I think my husband and I are polar opposites. When I try to mentally catalogue our differences, I’m amazed we can tolerate each other at all. They tell you opposites attract, and that balance is everything, and I guess they are right for once. Because in spite of the many ways in which we are dissimilar, we seem to make a pretty great team.
- My husband is a man of few words.
- I could talk all day. Shocking, I know.
- On the Myers-Briggs, I am an ENFJ- extraverted, intuitive, feeling, judging.
- My husband is an ISTJ- nearly my exact opposite. He is introverted, sensing, thinking, and judging. Thank God neither of us is a spontaneous, think-outside-the-box “P.” We’d be doomed!
- I require frequent socialization with my girlfriends to keep me sane. (Please refer to The HerStories Project: our book about the importance of female friendship coming next month!)
- My husband would rather stay home with the girls. (Bless him.)
- My husband has an amazing work ethic. He is always doing something.
- I could waste an entire day lost in my own thoughts and daydreams.
- I live for emotional processing and self-analysis.
- My husband would probably rather poke out his own eyes than listen to me discuss the origins of our dichotomous communication styles one more time.
- I prefer to be heaped with compliments, affection, and words of affirmation.
- My husband would rather I show my appreciation and love for him by doing something nice. Like (sob) household chores. He wrinkles his nose at compliments. (FYI, hubby. You’re not fooling anyone. I know you love it when I say, “you look hot in that shirt.”)
- When it comes to my past relationships, my husband would rather the subject never come up. Ever.
- I, on the other hand, would love to hear the details on all his exes. That stuff fascinates me. But he has no interest in traipsing down memory lane with me.
- My husband loves heavy metal.
- The only heavy metal song I truly love is “Don’t Know What You’ve Got ‘Til It’s Gone” by Cinderella. Likely because it evokes memories of suppressed sobs during a couples skate in a dimly lit roller-rink. And I was a music major, so my taste in music is pretty much impeccable.
- My husband knows when it’s time to change the oil, rotate the tires, winterize the swamp cooler, and start planting the garden.
- I know when the kids need their next haircuts, dentist appointments, and doctor’s checkups.
- My husband can’t remember things that happened last week.
- I remember everything. Everything.
- I flip out when things get spilled, kids are bleeding, and stress is high.
- My husband stays cool as a cucumber.
- Back in his glory days, my husband skied, snowboarded, mountain biked, and rafted.
- I’m more of an “indoor girl.”
But we both love driving around and looking at Christmas lights. We like snuggling on the couch and watching mindless TV while eating chocolate chip cookies, warm from the oven. We are both afflicted with the unfortunate condition that causes us to enjoy going on road trips with our children.
We have the same values as parents, and utilize the same parenting style. We are both deliberate and conscious in the way we choose to raise our children. We have the same philosophy with money; neither of us is an impulsive spender or an unreasonable penny-pincher.
For these reasons, and many more, we work. In spite of our vast differences, our varied preferences for music and leisure time, and our emotional style polarities, we work. Sure, I would love it if sometimes he was more complimentary, but I suppose it’s not such a bad thing that we are in fact complementary. (Did I mention I’m a wordsmith vocabulary nerd? Are you shocked that he’s not?)
I’m sure many of us have griped about all the ways in which we wish our partner was more like ourselves. But I bet at the end of the day, I couldn’t stand to be married to myself. Two of me in this marriage, or two of him in this marriage would not be a good combination. It takes my verbosity mixed with his mechanical reasoning skills, my passion mixed with his evenness, and my dreams mixed with his grounded-ness to make this marriage work. Between the two of us, we have a well balanced partnership. As for the heavy metal? Well, I suppose we all have to make some concessions, right?
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post.
This week’s sentence was: “When it comes to my past relationships, my partner/spouse thinks…”
Next week’s sentence is: “Right now, I am thankful for…”
* Alternate sentence: “When I hear the word pilgrim, I think of…”
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