Today is Part II of my Family Rituals and Traditions posts; last week I wrote about how important rituals and traditions were to me as a child, and how much they mean to me as an adult. Today I am focusing specifically on holiday traditions. Even though I know that from a developmental and educational perspective, keeping things as calm and routine as possible is beneficial to young children, I can’t help but go a little crazy with Christmas. The decorations, the music, the lights, the parties- I make very little effort to minimize the excitement this time of year. Part of that is likely because Christmas time was such a big deal when I was growing up.
When we were kids, my parents made the holidays a beautiful time of year. Our traditions included:
- Hitting the malls the day after Thanksgiving (long before it earned the unpleasant moniker Black Friday) to see the electronic Santa’s village exhibit at the local shopping center.
- We started playing our Christmas records (yes, vinyl) as soon and as frequently as my poor Dad could stomach it.
- Going to the Festival of Trees annually; we put a great deal of thought into which one we should bequeath with our earnest vote for Best Tree.
- Going to the Nutcracker Ballet whenever we could.
- Driving around and looking at holiday lights.
- We always went to the candlelight Christmas Eve service.
- We spent the rest of that most mysterious of evenings in our own candle-lit home, listening to our favorite Christmas songs, enjoying a steak dinner, and reading the Christmas story from the Bible. (I am growing teary remembering those days.)
- My brother and I would fall asleep listening to traditional holiday music on the public radio station, only to wake up hours later, unable to go back to sleep. We would wait out the final, impossibly slow hours until dawn together, huddled in one of our beds reading Christmas stories.
- As soon as our bewildered parents had made coffee and given the all-clear signal, we would bolt down the stairs to see what Santa had brought.
My brother and me- ages 3 and 1. We were cute as hell, no?
Now that I am a mother, we have started a few of our own family traditions, but I still draw from my sacred childhood holiday rituals. My mom and I have started taking my oldest daughter to the Nutcracker Ballet each year. As often as we can handle it, we pile into the minivan with mugs of hot chocolate, crank up my “Merritunes” playlist, and cruise around in pursuit of the best holiday light displays. (Let’s be honest- driving anywhere with a toddler isn’t always harmonious. The best year was when my youngest was just a few months old and began crying inconsolably twenty minutes into our drive. Regrettably, I took her out of her carseat while we drove, and nursed her in the back of the minivan until we got back home. Please don’t alert the authorities.)
We go to the local holiday lighting ceremony every year, where my husband has the honor of, after a dramatic countdown, flipping the switch that illumines the creekside display. (Although the mayor, flipping a gigantic “fake lightswitch” gets the glory. Humph.)
This was the year the ceremony dragged on a bit too long…
And yes, my mother (you might refer to her as my “festive partner in crime”) and I drag both the children to the mall on Black Friday to get their photo taken with Santa. Some years it goes better than others.
On Christmas Eve, I read the classic version of Twas the Night Before Christmas before we put the kids to bed. I’m afraid that, given my husband’s and my lack of religious affiliation, this has replaced my childhood tradition of reading from the Bible. At 35 years old, I still grow misty sitting in our dimly lit living room, this time enjoying the sounds of my “Ambient Christmas” playlist (yes, I am both a control freak and a music snob) and savoring the glow of the Christmas tree and candles. It is one of the few times of the year when I still feel in touch with magic.
Rituals and tradition accomplish the seemingly contradictory results of stirring me up with excitement and rooting me safely and comfortably to my own reality. Our rituals invigorate me, relax me, delight me, and calm me. They seem to defy all the laws of the universe, achieving a similar result to drinking a gingerbread latte followed by an eggnog and rum. (Did I mention how much I love holiday drinks? Yeah.)
I hope our daughters are as soothed and excited by our traditions as I am. I can’t wait to see how, as they grow, they put their own unique handiwork into shaping our rituals in the years to come. I would love to imagine that when they are mothers, they will look back on their childhood memories with a similar fondness and nostalgia.
If you happened to miss the entertaining blog carnival I participated in yesterday with some of my best blogging pals, you can check it out here. Our theme was “Gifts we are NOT giving our kids this year.” Spoiler alert: Mine was titled, “Thanks for Nothing, American Girls.”
This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post.
This week’s sentence was: “My favorite Christmas tradition is…”
We are skipping the next few weeks for the holidays, and we’ll return in January!
January 3rd’s sentence is: “My blogging goals for 2014 are…”
Your hosts:
Me
Janine at Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
Kristi at Finding Ninee
Kate at Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine?
Link up with us below, and share your favorite posts with #FTSF!
A year totally makes a difference with Santa and the girls totally looked like they had a blast this year. We just took the girls last weekend and I actually do Black Friday with my mom each year now, but the girls stay with Kevin. It is one day that actually do get to myself each year that I can count on 🙂
Yup, the girls both look happy to see Santa this year.
Great post Stephanie! It’s wonderful to have those holiday traditions. I really want to make going to the CU Christmas concert one of ours, but the last time we went Nora was a newborn and I ended having to walk out because she was crying and then she lost her only binky and then it all just went downhill. I think I got traumatized.
We haven’t even tried Santa this year, but you know how my whole black friday went, broken hand and all. Also, although I get that this was not the point of your awesome post, thanks for bringing me back to illegally unstrapping kid from carseat, speeding down the highway, to give him the boob. I feel so much better 🙂
Stephanie, this is such a beautiful tribute to your family rituals. I love your comment about the one time of year that you feel in touch with magic – I feel the same way! I LOVE Christmas and Christmas music and the books and decorations… And your post evokes all of that wonderfully. I adore this one 🙂 I think these will be fun FTSF posts to read!
So many in common! Not that I’m surprised at this point. I can hardly read Twas the Night Before Christmas without tearing up. And I tried to get my daughter into the Nutcracker this year with no luck as yet. I did show her the Grinch (the Boris Karloff one), and she literally shrieked with laughter. Warmed my heart.
Beautiful, beautiful – that evocative part about you being in your home, in the dim, listening to Christmas music by the light of the tree and the candles…wow! Sounds really amazing, and a perfect, still moment in your Christmas.
I hope it all goes wonderfully for you. You’re creating some gorgeous traditions for your girls and I’m pleased they’re beginning to get to an age where they can really appreciate them 🙂 Good for you for passing on the best of Christmas to them.
Love these! I agree that rituals and traditions are both calming and exciting. We look forward to them with great anticipation, but they somehow manage to soothe out souls at the same time.
That rug! The wood paneling! I love it!
Your Christmas Eve sounds so very cozy. I also love driving and, if the temperatures play along, walking around taking in the festive lights. I most definitely will not call in the authorities – a child is hungry and a mom needs to see the lights, no?
You are more than welcome to come on over – I’ve got cigars and some of the gals are bringing brandy, cookies and cake …
Tradition really do make childhood memories special. Isn’t it interesting how we try to preserve them and pass them on to our children, despite changing times? By the way, that’s a really cute picture of you and your brother. You look so much the same!
Such wonderful holiday memories you have Stephanie, and your daughters will too. That 2012 photo is hilarious – please tell me you sent that as a holiday card! Our this year has one nice photo and four blooper ones; I appreciate a wacky card. 🙂
It’s funny how families all do the holidays a little differently, but there are a lot of similarities too. Your post reminded me of listening to Christmas records as a kid while we decorated. We played the hell out of the Jackson 5 Christmas album. Dad can’t find it anymore, so I got it on my iPhone. It doesn’t sound the same without the record noises.
We have a similar Santa photo too. Lol. G$ is screaming last year and perfectly content this time around. Kids…
I used to love going to the candlelight Christmas service and The Nutcracker ballet too! Love the you and your mum take your daughter to the same ballet now. Your before and after photos made me smile – very cute! It looks like the same guy was Santa both years too – he must have a regular gig going at the store 🙂
You make Christmas sound so cozy and inviting you’re making me regret not celebrating it! (And I don’t mean it in a “make you feel bad” way). I LOVED this sentence: “Rituals and tradition accomplish the seemingly contradictory results of stirring me up with excitement and rooting me safely and comfortably to my own reality”. Again, even though I don’t celebrate this particular holiday I think I understand exactly what you mean, because I would be going a lot crazy with Christmas too. Hope I didn’t sound bitter. I loved this post! 😀
Oh my gosh, we had the exact same Christmas traditions when I was a kid! This took me on a nostalgia trip. Someday when I have kids I’ll renew a lot of these, but we’ve started a few of our own since getting married, like walking around the canals by our house, which are all lit up with Christmas decorations.
There is a lot of reading going on in your life/family. Me likes 🙂
Now that the dorky English teacher has had her say, I would just like to add: I freaking LOVE the pics you’ve included in this post! You were adorable as hell, and your little one on your husband’s shoulders fast asleep is precious!!!!!! xo
There is a lot of reading going on in your life/family. Me likes 🙂
Now that the dorky English teacher has had her say, I would just like to add: I freaking LOVE the pics you’ve included in this post! You were adorable as hell, and your little one on your husband’s shoulders fast asleep is precious!!!!!! xo
My grandfather always made a huge deal out of all the holidays with his kids, my mom picked that up and tweaked it for us, and now I hope hope hope I’m doing the same for my kids. And dammit, if I don’t get a thrill out of that because I feel like I’m honoring my past and gifting the future with so many happy things.
And the Christmas glow in the living room? The best.
That Santa picture from last year rocks the free world! We always open one Christmas gift on Christmas Eve, and it is somehow always Christmas jammies! 😉 And we always read The Polar Express. I remember as a child laying with my sister in my bed waiting until we had the all-clear to wake up my parents. :)-Ashley
This made me realize how rarely I think about our personal family traditions outside of the ones connected with Jewish ritual (for which there are many since Shabbat comes weekly, we keep kosher daily, etc.) But there are non-Jewishy things we do too that have taken on a ritual status.
Loved this!
That picture of Sophie is SO, SO, SO funny! Poor thing. I love your traditions. Christmastime traditions always get me. I love them. I want to do them all though – that’s where I struggle. We drive around looking at decorations too. I love that. And I love listening to Christmas music early in the season, it helps me get in the mood. 🙂