Remember the Prince song 1999? Well, when it actually was 1999, I was pretty much partying like it was 1999. I was a junior in college, 21 years old, living with my best friends, and having the time of my life. I was reflecting the other day on how much life had changed since then. Perhaps it was this revelation that set things in motion: 
Anyway, fast forward 14 years, add two kids, and you have a 34 year old (I’m not cheating, math majors- I turn 35 in July.) mother of two kids, living the dream in suburbia. Here are some examples of how my life has evolved since college.
- Then: Instead of chanting, “Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink!” Now: I chant, “This poopy diaper’s got to go, hey hey, ho ho!”
- Then: Sometimes I ate two dinners: my usual cafeteria meal of ranch-drenched salad, pizza, and Lucky Charms, and a second meal with my off-campus friends, likely prepared at 9:30 p.m. Now: While my menu selections may be equally random due to my distaste for grocery shopping, the idea of indulging in two evening meals is laughable. I’m lucky to get through one before I give up, having grown weary of my Whack-a-Mole impersonation, springing up to refill milk, get a toddler-sized fork, grab the ketchup, get someone a napkin….
- Then: Sloppy kissers used to be frowned upon. Now: I can’t get enough of my toddler’s wet, slobbery kisses when I am rocking her before bed at night.
- Then: My roommates and I used to watch the movie Drop Dead Gorgeous over and over without tiring of it. Now: If I have to watch Ariel’s Beginning one more time, I’m going to go jump on a pile of Legos barefoot.
- Then: I drove a 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Calais that belonged to my deceased grandmother. It was the least reliable vehicle ever made. Now: I drive the requisite minivan, complete with two carseats, mounds of crushed goldfish, discarded tissues, and headless Polly Pockets.
- Then: My “fresh bed linens” policy was questionable. Now: Sleeping “in the wet spot” likely refers to leaking milk (both the human and cow variety), urine, or spit-up. I still don’t change my sheets often enough.
- Then: Occasionally, I would fall asleep in my clothes. Now: That would imply that I don’t change into my pajamas at 4:30 p.m. Which I do.
- Then: Though I was having the time of my life, I’m not sure that I ever felt truly comfortable in my own skin. Now: While my life my not be as exciting and tumultuous as it once was, I feel content and at peace with myself.
- Then: My three best friends and I thought we would be in each other’s lives forever. Now: I am proud to say we are making that happen. There were periods of years after college graduation where we didn’t speak to one another; we needed some time and space to grow into ourselves and shed our adolescent skin. However, we found our way back together, live within an hour of one another, and though we don’t see each other as often as we like, we get together at least 3-4 times a year.
I wouldn’t go back and live there permanently, but I sure would love to take a vacation back to 1999- just for a day. Or maybe a long weekend.
Now I want to go back!!!!!! And I realize how 3-4 times a year is just not enough. You all were a huge part in me finding myself and the person I’ve become. Love you all so much….thank you Steph for the wonderful look back. I wouldn’t change a thing!
Aw, I love you too,and I would love a nostalgia vacation! Maybe even just getting together and looking at pictures like we do once every decade or so… Miss you, and we’ll get better at our 3-4 times a year!
The drama in my life has decreased by 100 since college and the size of my ass did the inverse. Figures. Also, I have quite a few “lounging on the couch” photos from college. They make me wistful more than any of the partying pictures do.
Snorting! Size of your ass did the inverse… yeah, I minored in lounging on the couch.
OMG, what I would do to go back and by my college self for a weekend.
Wait a minute…that would require me to do jagger bombs and stay up past 10 pm, and I’m not sure I could survive that. 🙂
Loved the comparisons. I can totally relate!!!
This is a very good point. Two words: Jungle Juice.
Stop stop! I have tears in my eyes recalling the ‘good old days’!! Yup, would love to just visit just for a vacation!!
😀 So glad you liked it Roshni!
I am so with you that I would love to visit, but not sure I could keep up with my former self!! Really great post and oh how I could so relate!!
Loved the post – and the pictures are priceless!
L.O.V.E.
The wet spot, PJs at 4:30, drinking games!! Everything is absolutely perfect in this post!! I am not pleased with my appearance some days, but despite that, I, too, feel more comfortable in my own skin. Go figure!
Awesome post, Stephanie! Like we talked about on FB, I’m publishing my last attempt at a frat party this week; I think you’ll be able to relate 😉
I am so glad you liked it, and can’t wait to read yours!
I love the sloppy kisses comparison. And I definitely recommend indulging in some Lucky Charms today- yum!
I wholeheartedly agree!
1999 kind of sucked for me. If I could go back, I’d slap myself over the head and tell my old self ” to have more fun.” I’m glad you are still friends with your college pals. It sounds like you were a fun gal to be around and still are.
Hindsight, huh? Thanks Maggie!
Those were the days, indeed! I partied till it was 1999 too…and I love that song!! Wish it could happen again, but oh well! We can hope! Great post, Stephanie.
I can’t wait for a recap in say… 2050.
I wouldn’t go back to save my life. Like you said, I’m finally comfortable in my own skin…and pajamas. Hey hey, ho, ho, this list of comparisons is right on. Yea, that doesn’t rhyme.
Perhaps not, but still funny!
Yup. But the second to last was definitely the best one. I could deal with a weekend back in 1999 or even 2,000. Anything w/o kids really.
Life does change pretty quickly…sometimes for the better…and unfortunately sometimes for the worse. Love your list…very funny.
You have just made me miss old friends so much. One of the hardest things about being a mom (and one without a lot of disposable cash) is the fact that there are some people I miss dearly, but wonder when or if I will see them again.
I am with you on the lack of disposable cash- it is such a factor in being able to visit old friends. Thanks for reading!
I laughed a few times reading this, because I recognize so much of it, the pajamas, the sheets, hearing someone sing a song about poop and realizing it’s you. Loved this post!
Thanks Katia! Glad you appreciated my crass musings… 🙂
Lol…loved your comparisons.
Time matures us all :))
Awww. What a great post! Loved looking at the photos of then and now!
Aww, I liked the ending the best about your friends. I cherish my friends from college too and I’d love to “go back” in time for a weekend! Of course for me, that would mean going back to 1987…ahhh, I’m old!! Loved your other then/now comparisons…really funny and so true!
Love this post and always love your sense of humor!
aww. that was great!!! the pros and cons were dead on.
Thanks so much Stacia!
How awesome that you still have the same three friendships. And by the way, I am so joining you in the lego pit. What torture was Disney thinking of by turning the movies into videos?
Hey awesome friend! I wish I knew you when I was in college ’cause we’d have had some good times (you’d have to have an age-alter machine though because when I was 18, you were 8). I could chant the heck out of “Drink motherfucker drink motherfucker drink!” Now, I use my mastery to air-traffic control millions of tiny airplanes. Millions.
I love the fact that you’re still friends with your college besties! I am too 😀
Oh, I love this post! I graduated a few years before you, but I was definitely partying like it was 1999 in 1999 because I was young early 20s girl living in NYC. Ah, the good old days. Sort of. Ha.
I love the Wack a Mole metaphor!! And it makes me feel loads better that I’m not the only one who can’t sit down EVER through one meal without about fifteen requests. Maybe one day…
Oh, and my sheets are so not clean enough. Sigh.
-Dana
Totally love this post! I also drove my grandmother’s 1989 Cutlass (Cutlass sierra). I thought I was living the life back then too but actually I wouldn’t go back to that time now if I had the chance. Now I am so much more content… Well said!
I’m fairly certain I’m going to have “drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker”, etc. in my head for a few days. Catchy! … too funny! Great post x
what a great post!
we all have thought from time to time about the past (at various stages of our respective) lives, but the ‘then/now’ device… excellent and courageous, lol
no, I know this is simply a fun Post, but as I imagine engaging in the exercise that resulted in this Post, I can’t help but think I would hit points of, …’yeah, lets just let that comparison go’ or ‘did I really believe that then/do I believe it now’…
It occurs to me that even with something as fun as the ‘then/now thing’, there is an opportunity to appreciate what we have now and… (more difficult to pull off) there is also a chance to appreciate what we had then that we no longer have.