I am going to go out on a limb and trust that my husband is never going to read this post. That being said, in order to protect the innocent, this post is not necessarily about him. Nor is it generalizing that all men do these things. Just, you know, some of them. There are many sensitive, thoughtful, and detail-oriented men out there; heck, you may be married to one of them! This post is for the rest of
us you. I sincerely hope that I don’t lose the small number of male readers I have- I trust that if you are a man reading my blog, you are definitely one of the good ones. In fact, stop reading now.
- She tries to apologize when she does something to hurt your feelings or snap at you. He seems unclear on the meaning of apologize. Is this the same thing as admitting you made a mistake?
- He thinks it is a great idea to throw his wet towel on the bed. Where you sleep. She thinks that idea sucks.
- She makes dinner for the entire family when he is home late, and has the kitchen cleaned up before bedtime. He makes hot dogs for the kids and himself, leaves nothing ready for you, and watches TV while you do the dishes (that you didn’t use.) Oh, and plan to re-do your daughter’s math homework, since he didn’t really help her.
- She pretty much does all the same things as usual when she is sick. He will spend the entire day on the couch sleeping and periodically moaning. Also not likely to ask how you are feeling or suggest you take a nap when you catch his cold the following week.
- She will clean the entire house even though nobody is likely to comment or thank her for her efforts. He prefers to be generously praised for loading the dishwasher without being asked.
- He emerges from the shower and enjoys, much like a wet dog, shaking water over every square inch of the bathroom. She prefers to dry off in the shower.
OK, maybe I’ve been a little too hard on
*Author’s note: In the two days after I wrote this post, my husband did two incredibly thoughtful things.
The next night, he went out to dinner with a friend and came home with dessert for me. Facepalm.
**Several days later…I am now home with the stomach flu and he has done literally everything, including take the girls to and from school/daycare, cook and clean. Wow. It’s almost as if the Universe is telling me not to publish this post. What the hell…I’ll do it anyway.
Aha, a man looks to be the first to comment! lol You’re in trouble! Actually, you’ve made me wonder about my masculinity. I dry off in the shower, learned the hard way about wet towels on beds, do as little as possible no matter if I’m sick or well, tell my wife to stay in bed when she’s sick (so she doesn’t “germ up” the living room where I’m at), and usually make sure I fix her something to eat when I cook. However, women also have their quirks. 1) Most believe in the “Love Story” philosophy of never having to say “I’m Sorry”, 2) Toilet tissue rolls magically empty after taking off make-up, 3) Washing dishes in an air conditioned kitchen does not equal out to push mowing a yard in 100 degree heat, and 4) shall we just say, “PMS Attacks” month after month for 20 to 30 years! lol Great post!
My first thought when I saw your comment was, “oh shit!” But it looks like it is as I suspected, you’re one of the good ones Rich!
You TOTALLY had to publish this in order for the universe to hear your cry for help. I assume that you don’t throw your hands up and spew curse words or frustrations as loudly as your, er, as men. So this was your subtle SOS cry 😉
Haha- thanks! And let’s just say that I am the louder curser in our family…;)
That is one of the best titles ever written for a blog post.
Amen, Sister! to #1.
While my husband does do the dishes every night, he does not have the same standards as I do. For example, when I do the dishes, I use the soapy water to wash down cabinets, stove, and all other surfaces to get the entire kitchen cleaned up. He does not. Finally, after almost 8 years in this house, I have gotten him to rinse the sink out after letting the water out. Grossed me out every morning, but he didn’t seem to notice or listen when I asked him to do it. Finally, I have a clean sink in the morning now.
So sorry you are sick, but glad your husband is kicking up his game and taking care of you and everything around the house.
We have no doubt he will earn this post here soon…they all do! 😉 Our hubbies have done some really nice things lately and instead of being super grateful, we are just kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop! Love this post so much!-The Dose Girls
Don’t regret posting this! The husbands aren’t ALWAYS like this but they are like this enough of the time for us to notice a pattern. I’m sure if our husbands wrote about us there would be enough to make a list of 10 justified complaints. My husband would probably write “manages to spend $100 at Target even though she went to buy a tube of toothpaste.” Great post!
I could write my own list of “complaints about the wife”- you are so right- we have our faults, too, they are just completely different! Thanks for the vote of confidence that it wasn’t a total mistake to post this!
Stephanie, it could be worse, right? No mention of leaving the toilet seat up? 😉
I do think we are wired way differently, not so much men and women, but people in general.
Oh, shit, you guys weren’t supposed to read this one! All in good fun, I swear, and my husband is actually pretty fantastic and has knocked himself out around here while I have been sick this week…and your point about wiring is a great one!
Omg, were you a fly on the wall in my house this past weekend?? Seriously, so sounds like Kevin at times. Can totally relate and I have these random thoughts too often!!
Ha! Glad I’m not alone!
Best blog title ever! I don’t think men are less capable of multitasking. But if a man (my husband) is married to a woman who is EXCELLENT at multitasking at home, why should he make the effort when she is doing such a bang up job? That being said, he is perfectly capable of stepping up to the plate when I’m not home. Sounds like you have a keeper too!
I mostly wrote it for the title… ;). Glad you have a keeper!
Yes my husband MIGHT just be related to your husband! This was too funny!
Glad you liked it! 😀
:-)) love it! You’ve hit the nail on the head, Stephanie! I especially identify with numbers 1 and 6. 4, 3 and 2, though, confirm a suspicion I’ve had for a long time, I may be a man.
I definitely agree with the statement that we are all wired differently. You should check out the book Woman are like Spaghetti and Men are like Waffles. It is pretty funny. I am fortunate though – for 80% of the time, I usually have one of the good ones! Ok – maybe 95% of the time. 🙂
That book sounds awesome! I too have one of the good ones, and I am lucky that he has been a sort of good sport about this post, and I kind of feel like an a-hole. :p He is a pretty helpful guy…
(totally agree with everyone on the excellence of the Title)… but speaking from the Y side of the fence if I may respond:
item 2 what better place to leave a towel ( I have been asked by my wife if I know where the towels are… I assume that she needs to know all towels, regardless of condition)
item 5 well, there is the arranging and, from personal experience, there seems to be a secret arrangement order for dishes and all, so when we succeed in loading the machine and getting to start without excessive breakage, surely that’s praiseworthy
item 6 you get into the shower to get wet, so it is only logical that you get out of the shower to get dry, no?
I suspect that I should stop at theses three items, (Rich has at times suggested ‘quite while you’re ahead’ on other blogs..)
Enjoyed reading this Post.
Phew, thanks for letting me off easy with your comments Clark! And thanks for adding to the intended humor of the post with such a funny comment!
I think your title of this post said it all…and personally I think men PRETEND they can’t multi-task, but they can, they just don’t want us to know it. But, I’m on to them!!
1, 4, & 5, so great! Do you secretly spy on us? I especially liked the one about praise! That one is really hard for me- to praise someone for, say, washing the dishes, when I do it all the time with no compliments!
Two words. Mark Gungor. Look him up on YouTube, especially the battle of men and women brains..
LOLOL! That’s funny. The danger of prescheduling posts right?
LOL! So funny! I “stumbled” this. The wet towel!!! My husband hasn’t done the wet towel on the bed, but he sometimes steps on important papers (Yes, they’re on the floor, but I’m organizing and it is the office) and puts books on the wet kitchen table. Gah!!! Thank goodness he has so many other amazing qualities and daily puts up with my critical spirit and constant assumption that the world is out to get me.
Critical spirit and assumption that the world is out to get me…HA! That is too funny. Yeah, my next list can be about why my husband is a saint for putting up with me…
I do think there are definite differences b/t the sexes, but I also think men are raised with different expectations and that some of the differences we see now are not necessarily due to biological reasons but rather cultural ones. So my husband doesn’t particularly care if the house is messy, and I do so he’s not going to clean up as much. I get that & that’s fine, but you can’t tell me when he sees a pile of dishes in the sink, he doesn’t know they need to be washed. Or that women are hard-wired to remember every single person’s birthday & make phone calls & send cards where men are simply incapable of remembering anyone’s (including their own mother’s) birthday. I get that we have different priorities, but I believe men are raised to not have to think about others & they get a free pass for that whereas the same behavior would be unacceptable for a woman. And I refuse to believe men are simply incapable of doing domestic duties or being responsible for their own children. You own a house, you have to take care of it. That’s called being an adult. Same with children. I had no special abilities when we had our 1st child. I had no more knowledge about raising kids than he did. I learned on the job. He can too.
Cheers to that, lady! I couldn’t agree more. Thought you might like reading this post… 😉
How did I miss out on this gem?!! The towel!!!!!! OMG!!!! I cannot stand it and yet there it will lie every day on the BED in a crumpled heap!! And, now he’s managed to teach his boys too!! (yes, they’re mine too! Fine!!) I promised to beat the shit out of them if they persisted though, so I think I’ve scared them into hanging their towel up!! *pant, pant*!!!
Roshni, you are *killing* me! That comment cracked me up and totally made my night! <3
Awww, well I need to write a post like this and see if some of that good stuff happens to me. #4 and #6 are SO true over here. I get so mad when I go in the bathroom after him and get my socks wet!
Isn’t it infuriating??? Glad I’m not alone!