I hit a turning point in my life when I realized that, despite my best intentions and efforts to be prepared, things were not going to turn out as I had planned. There is nothing like motherhood to throw a wrench in the Type A works. When people decide to have children, they should receive a notice that reads, “Parenthood: Control Freaks Need Not Apply.” As much as I’d like to pretend I can go with the flow, I am not fooling anyone. If I impersonate a laid-back individual, it is clear that I am merely a control-freak in sheep’s clothing.
I have sort of come to terms with the fact that my life as a mom is going to be messy, the kids are going to “ruin” outings with their hysterical antics, and “special occasions” are going to turn into catastrophes. Though it makes me uncomfortable to lean into the chaos, as it goes against my natural inclination to come up with a “vision” and stick to it, I am learning to let go- just a little.
We’re all familiar with Murphy’s Law, the old adage that assumes that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. In my opinion, there is a special variation of this vexing “law” that applies strictly to parents. Though it causes me great pain, I am trying to cope with the fact that all of these scenarios have happened to me and will likely continue to happen to me for many years to come. May I present: “Mommy’s Law.”
Sound familiar? Even though I know it is doesn’t pay to be an uptight parent, I still accept the fact that it is hard for me to go with the flow, especially when plagued by the above conditions of Β motherhood. I am working on finding that elusive balance between learning to relax a little, and embracing the fact that I am not, nor will I ever be, a mellow mommy.
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Me from Mommy, for Real
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Next week’s sentence is: “The hardest part about my day is…”
Omg, does it ever sound familiar. Seriously this list is so damn true, I was frightened while reading it. And shakes hands with me, because I too am very Type A and even the thought of pretending trying to go along with the flow gives me hives, lol!!
Ha! I’m not surprised to hear that- in a good way! π
I suffer from perfect mother syndrome as well. Funny how it only takes a newborn to show you that all your plans are for naught!
Isn’t that the truth?
Mom’s murphy law is too true and sad sometimes, LOL. I remember getting advice when Dino was a few months old, make plans, but be prepared for the unexpected. I nodded and thought how cynical of that mom, well she was right. You have plans, but nothing goes the way you think it will. Too often I just have to laugh at how things turn out.
Laughing is better than crying about it, right?
This is awesome. All of it is soooo true. Going with the flow is hard for me too, but I’m finding it’s actually a skill you can hone with practice. All I had to do was have a baby to learn that:)
I’m definitely honing it, but I will surely never have a PhD in laid-back-ness. Or grammar, apparently.
Steph, this is a brilliant idea for a post and brilliant execution! I snorted when I read the first one and every consecutive one after that. I think about Murphy so much and I always say that if there is one certainty in my life it’s Murphy, knowing that it’s going to occur. How about the minute my butt cheeks land on the toilet I hear “MAMA!!!” no matter how into Mike the Knight my son is. I wish I had thought of this, bravo!
YES to the butt cheeks thing- for the love of God, what is up with that? π
βParenthood: Control Freaks Need Not Apply.β I love it. Unfortunately, of course, so many control freaks do…
Um, yeah. Like me. π
Oh yes, Stephanie, everything that does go wrong, will go wrong, which is why we have to will it not to be like that. Am sharing your post!!
Thank you so much Michelle!
The one about removing all the spare clothing from your purse is so true. We thought we finally had my daughter fully potty trained back in 2005. She was three years and two months old when we went to Centiennal Park in Atlanta. She didn’t warn us or anything, She decided to squat down right in the middle of the park and pee, wetting her panties and pants thorougly. It was the News Years Eve and the Peach Bowl Parade was about to start. I had to go down in the lower part of a mall to a tourist stand and buy a yellow jogging suit with the Atlanta logo on it. π
Yes, those are the moments we remember, aren’t they? Ah, parenthood…
LOL’s at 5:38 in the morning over the playground one. It just reminds me of finding a spot on the floor at Barnes & Noble with a magazine, then having to get up which is physically harder than getting up off a park bench because my son found a section he’s rather be in. I’ve been up since 3:15 storm watching while my family sleeps through it. School is on a two-hour delay but I won’t send him today the last day of school is Monday and Oklahoma is too fresh on my mind. Anyhoo, I turned his alarm off. But I am sure as soon as I tiptoe back in my room and get into drool zone he’ll be up – loud and excited because there’s no school.
Wow, lady, that is really something! I hope you get some rest later… And yes, the B&N experience has happened to me, too! Of course…
Hilarious timing – I just posted yesterday about Murphy’s law and how you can subvert it to use for your own ends…
Just popped over there! π
I clearly missed the memo about Control Freaks not applying! My friends call me “Triple A” as opposed to merely Type A… and motherhood has been a huge adjustment. I related to every single one of these!
Yep, me too! Glad I am not alone, and wow, did I ever love your post today!
How I love the way you add humor to reality.
xo
I read your post/your insight as illustrating and demonstrating how, given an agile enough sense of humor and a ‘flexible’ perspective, the ‘un-controllable’ aspects of life can be made to become… (ok, maybe not controllable, lol but nearly as good) it can become semi-manaegable!
Thanks Clark! And yes, sometimes semi-manageable is about the best one can hope for!
That’s really clever, Steph! I had forgotten about Murphy’s Law. My parents also reminded us about it. I can truly relate to everything on your list. That’s the hardest thing about motherhood for me: letting go, realizing so much is uncontrollable, and being okay with that.
Thanks Jessica! I am terrible about letting go- but at least I am aware of it, right?
This is AWESOME!! Oh my Lord, that list is SO TRUE AND SO PERFECT!! Love this so much!-The Dose Girls
Aw, thanks girls, and thanks for tweeting it, too! xo
You’re right. If something can go wrong with kids, it usually will! I still can’t understand why my toddler wakes up so early every weekend!
I guess one of the first things you learn as a mother is you totally have no control. This beautiful little bundle of joy has taken over your whole life. Your list is so perfect!!!
Thanks Betty- and it is an ongoing lesson I think!
I have to say you’re right on with Mommy’s Rules. For some things, I am pretty laid back. For others, I’m a total control freak. I plan everything. My little one takes special pleasure in saying “No” to everything and derailing my plans. My five-year old enforces my plan because she usually helps me map everything out. I don’t know if I’m doing her any favors passing that one on, but we’ll see. π
Oh, my oldest is the EXACT same way- she is just like me, and even made a “list” for her sleepover tonight- ha! It is kind of painful, huh?
Well, you said it all. I’m a grandparent now, but your Mommys Law should be printed up and displayed in every mommys home! There is no way around it ****happens all the time.
LOL…well said Steph.
I loved the mommy’s law and it is 100% full proof π
TGIF
Thanks Ruchira!
Omg, I’m in so much trouble when I have kids, lol. I’m going to hang up that list on my wall… π
Ha! Good luck…
Hilarious! Everyone should have a copy of Mommy’s Law on their fridge…and in the bathroom, on the ceiling over their beds, and on and on! Love this post! Mommy’s Law is painfully true.
Thanks Rachel- it is definitely painfully true…
You, my dear friend, are totally awesome! I snorted at the reference of you being a control-freak in sheepβs clothing and LOVE your list! I want to print it out and hang it on my fridge kind of love. The one about waking up at 5:30 am on the day the kiddo sleeps until 7 am happens to me all the time. What is UP with that, anyway?? Sheesh.
Glad you liked the control freak in sheep’s clothing bit! π And thanks for pinning- I would love to see some love from Pinterest, that fickle b-word…
PS I pinned your list and I’ll be you get TONS of repins on that one!
Love this! Motherhood has definitely taught me to loosen up and let go a lot!
Thanks Lisa!
Did you steal this off my wall? π These same things happen in my house too, though less frequently now that the kids are older.
Ha! Yeah, this is kind of universal, huh? Glad to hear Mommy’s Law eases up a bit as they get older…
The truth hurts, doesn’t it? I agree so much with this list! π
The truth DOES hurt. Sigh.
Love. I’m pinteresting this.
Ooh, yay, Pin away! Much obliged, friend…
Absolutely Pinterest worthy!!
My favorite is truly the first one.
Thanks Deb, and that one was my favorite, too, and so, so true…
This is hilarious. Well done. I am not a mommy yet I’m still laughing.
Oh, I’m so glad to hear that! Thanks for stopping by!
ahahahahaha! I totally pinned this. The list made me laugh and then the last one REALLY made me laugh! So funny! I know what you mean about things not going as planned. I’m a pretty laid back person, but I still get uptight about a number of things, particularly messy, sticky fingers and stuff, touching me. Ick. I remember before I had kids and I thought, “Maybe if parents were just a little more proactive with their kids, their kids wouldn’t be misbehaving so much.” I actually thought that. LOLOLOLOL! The joke was on me! Who’s got time to be proactive when you’re cleaning up poop off the floor??? Loved your post!!!
I am SO glad you pinned it- after all, a very savvy friend of mine went to great lengths to teach me how to add the Pin-It button! And yeah… parenthood is ironic, huh?
Bwahahahaha! Truth in every word!
Sad, but true, huh?
I loved the new law! I must introduce more people to it! Have a good week end.
Thanks Joan!
Steph, you know how I follow your blog and how much I love it…both for the chuckles, soul-searching, and interest as a parent of a 30something kid or two! Well, this is a person request comment: could you give me some guidelines on setting up a blog. This was a goal of mine before I retired and started following yours. Now, I’ve visited so many of the people who have commented on your blog. I’ve even found a couple senior citizens π I’d like to start a blog about retirement, grandparenting, and still seeking to come to terms with who I really am! Any input, even it’s a class I should take, would be totally appreciated! My email is mbg06143@gmail.com. I must tell you, I have hesitated to ask because I have some inkling of how busy you are! So please don’t spend a lot of time on this…you can even tell me to just fuck off, it that’s where you’re at right now, and I won’t be offended!!! I’ll just try again later π Love and hugs, Mary Beth
I would *never* tell you to fuck off! And I will definitely email you this week- I have a lot if thoughts and suggestions when it comes to blogging! xo
I know I’m late to comment, but those were greeeaaattt!! You could not have listed more truisms for Mommy’s law than those…I didn’t participate in FTSF this week, but hope to join ya’ll again next week!!
Stephanie, this is so awesome! Every single one of those things has happened to me. Next for me the elementary aged Mommy’s Law…. I’ll get back to you on that one!
I have one foot in toddler Mommy’s Law, and the other in elementary school Mommy’s Law! You are so right- it still applies!
Really, most sincerely, familiar. I would add – the kids can be playing quietly, so I sit in the recliner to relax. Suddenly, everyone wants to sit in my lap, right that minute, and begin to scream about it. sigh.
Yes! Crazy-making, isn’t it?
This is so true! Any woman who says “Oh, I will never do…” or “That will never happen…” in reference to Mommyhood is in for a big surprise! You might start out with organized toy bins and cute outfits to Walmart, but get ready for the great, universal humbling that comes with having children! Mommy’s Law is for real.
You are so right! It is definitely a universal humbling! So glad you stopped by!