For the first 34 years of my life, I prided myself on being cavity-free. Just before I turned 35, I got my very first cavity. I was pissed. And terrified. No matter how many allergy shots I had as a kid, how many IVs I have been given for surgical procedures, regardless of the countless liters of fluids administered during my puke-laden pregnancy, and innumerable blood draws I have received, I remain wholly phobic of needles. I spent over a month dreading my filling.
The day of the appointment, my husband called me to check in. I told him how nervous I was, and asked what I needed to know about getting a filling. He warned that I would probably feel weird talking afterward and that drinking would be difficult because all the water would dribble out of my mouth. Great. Then I asked how badly the Novacaine injection would hurt. “It hurts a lot,” he told me, “I’m not gonna lie.” “Why did I call you?” I complained. “I should’ve called my mom instead.” He reminded me that actually, he had called me. Whatever.
When I arrived at the dentist’s office, I quickly used the bathroom first, trying to ward off any possible pants-peeing and/or crapping, or any anxiety vomiting. Better get that out of my system beforehand, right? I noticed in the mirror that I had actually developed a rash on my chest thanks to my nerves. Kind of amazing how the body responds to stress, isn’t it?
I told the dentist how upset and concerned I was, and jokingly asked if she could give me anything stronger. She declined. Then I suggested that her office team up with a marijuana dispensary, given that it’s legal in Colorado. She agreed that it was a fantastic idea. However, I was left with nothing but the needle, some numbing cream, and my iPod to help distract me from my misery. My lovely dentist explained the procedure and pointed out that the location and depth of my cavity was favorable in terms of localization and degree of pain. I was still skeptical.
I turned on my meditative chant, closed my eyes, and waited for the numbing cream to take effect. Once it had, my dentist told me she would inject 25% of the Novacaine and then wait 3 minutes to inject the rest. She grabbed my cheek and jiggled it. I clenched my toes in anticipation.
“How was that?” she asked expectantly. I gave her a strange look. “Did you already do it?” I asked with confusion. Yes. Yes, she had. This was what my husband had described as terribly painful? Don’t make me laugh. Then something dawned on me.
The last time I had received an injection of local anesthetic, I was in the delivery room, having just given birth. My OB was, you know, stitching up my hoo-hah. In fact, the medication wore off at one point, and I cheerfully announced while nursing my new baby, “I think I probably need another shot- I can feel that.”
So. I guess that explains why my husband would describe the mouth injection as “hurting a lot.” Clearly, he had never experienced a needle to his man-parts. In fact, as my filling appointment concluded, I told my dentist and hygienist (still possessing the ability to speak clearly; maybe my dentist is just that good.) that I would go so far as to describe the experience as relaxing, at least in comparison to spending the afternoon chasing my toddler around.
Which would you prefer? Pushing out a baby or spending a few hours in the dentist chair?Â
I seriously am not sure why I too am so afraid of the dentist, but I am and I think if I had to choose, it would be labor. I swear (at least with Lily), it was truly nothing and would do that again over the dentist any day of the week! Just have a fear and aversion of the dentist and yes probably a big baby over this, but was reading this and could truly relate!
This is going to be so fun! I know a lot of people hate the dentist- I think the delivery room may totally win this one…
Yeah Delivery hands down. I literally had a full blown panic attack at the oral surgeons resulting in them refusing to knock me out for fear I would aspirate since I was trying to vomit. I loathe the dentist that much. I loathe needles of any kind resulting in the last of my 3 deliveries being basically totally medication and needle free… mind you AFTER the witch of a nurse blowing 3 veins trying to put in an IV even though I arrived dilated to 9.. umm yeah waste of time. For some odd reason she chose to stop.. perhaps because I picked up the whole IV stand with 2 pumps on it with one hand in the midst of a contraction and threatened her life.. ya know just maybe..
I am laughing out loud envisioning that scenario- ha! So far the delivery room is winning…
The IV-nurse thing, not you having a panic attack, just to clarify. The dentist thing is NOT funny.
Are you kidding!? DENTIST DENTIST DENTIST! Then again, I had a homebirth, no meds. That’s kind of like running a marathon.. awful while you’re doing it, amazing once you’re done.
But the dentist… I LOVE the dentist. I get to lie down in a comfy chair. I don’t have to debate about whether it’s a good use of my limited spare time, I have to go. I actually blogged about how awesome my oral surgery was last summer, because it didn’t even hurt and my mother in law watched my baby for the whole morning after while I lied in bed.
Dentist, no contest. Great post. Love the pics.
Yeah, I had a feeling you might say that! Can’t say that I blame you- you are a childbirth warrior!
Bahahha! I used to HATE the dentist, and needed to get some work done after having my daughter. I now find that place SOOOOO relaxing, especially since my dentist has TVs mounted to the ceiling, allowing me to catch up on some daytime TV in peace. 🙂
I am with you! Thankfully my dentist is apparently above average and my experience was pain-free… it sounds like others have had some really bad dentist encounters!
I hate the dentist and while I’m not sure I would rather go through delivery again, I used to totally freak when I went….but now I go to a laser dentist and it’s awesome! No needles, no drugs, no drill and no pain! He can do everything a regular dentist does and it costs the same. I still don’t love it, but it makes it easier. Glad your experience was ok!
No way! I didn’t even know you could do the laser dentist thing! Lucky you! If my own experience had been terrible, I would totally look into that! I was so glad my dentist was great. Maybe it’s because she’s a woman. 🙂
I was 39 before the first cavity and was terrified. My experience was a lot like yours … after it was done, I wondered why I was so scared. Piece of cake! Well, maybe on second thought … no cake.
Ha! Oh, come on… if the filling was that painless, I say, keep the cake comin’!
Well I have a total phobia of the dentist, so I’d rather deliver a baby. But my problem is purely psychological!!!
Yeah, I know, I totally thought of you when I was writing this! 😀
Baby pushing. TERRIFIED of the dentist. I don’t know why. But seriously terrified. I have to take lots of happy pills to go.
This is so interesting! SO many people hate the dentist!
I am SO glad that your dentist experience was so great! I’ve had some HELL dental experiences so am really happy that yours was so wonderful. In fact, I might even say that I’d rather get stitches in my hoo-ha again instead of going back to the dentist. Sigh. I have issues.
I don’t think you do have issues, actually… have you seen how many people so far have said they’d take the delivery room over the dentist’s office? Crazy!
Ha! I just had a dentist appointment this morning. It was just a routine cleaning and I was tense the whole time, praying there was no need for further procedures because I hate needles. Luckily, I got a good report – no cavities! (Yay!) However, in the future, if/when I do have to have dental procedures, I should remind myself that if I can push out 3 babies and survive three epidural needles in my spine, surely I can handle a little dental work, right?
I kept saying that to myself as I was freaking out in anticipation- I always come back to my childbirth experience to remind myself what I can handle, but I still get so upset at the prospect of needles! Every. Time. That being said, I just had my first acupuncture session and loved it! 😉
I’m a total weirdo who LOVES the dentist. I have it planned so I get to go on birthday and around Christmas. Like I said, I’m a nut. That said, nothing at the dentist ever hurt as much as my c-section.
I can’t go QUITE that far…but my experience was pretty darn relaxing! 😉
Oh, what a hilarious comparison. It’s a toss-up though. Yes, having the hoo-ha stitched up hurt worse, but I preferred the baby at the end of it, as opposed to the filling!
Yes, you make a solid point. There isn’t much reward after the dentist. Unless you are a rebel/moron like me and promptly go out for frozen yogurt afterward. Not that I’m saying a little fro-yo is as good as a baby, but…
That’s a really tough call. I do agree that it’s nice with labor that at least you get a baby at the end of labor. After a dentist’s visit, all you get is an inexplicably large bill.
Right? I was kind of shocked at my co-pay; I thought we had great dental insurance… Luckily I was clearly in good shape, or I would have been even more upset at the bill…
That’s an awesome post, Steph! It reminds of that video released a while ago of those men (in the Netherlands?) who were strapped on to this device and experienced a mock delivery. And the delivery room photo is one of the best ones I’ve seen. It’s so bubbly and happening and colourful and you need to do a double take to get what’s going on. It’s awesome. Totally you (except for the double take to get what’s going on part).
I thought of that video, too! I was wondering if maybe I just got lucky, or if there really is something to the difference in pain threshold between men and women.. I’ve always thought of him as much tougher than me!
I’m confused by your commenting! Once more, with feeling- If you had asked me 20 years ago, I would’ve said dentist- hands down. After having a medication-free vaginal birth and being traumatized by my college dentist, I’ll go birth for 500 please.
Dude, it’s the triberr thing. It’s kind of blowing my mind. I’m sorry you had duplicate comments- how annoying, huh? And your comment was HILARIOUS. It’s funny how divided the responses are!
Men!!! Pffft!!! Don’t even get me started!!
Glad you had a relaxing afternoon! 🙂
Right? And thanks…
Oh, dentist chair any day, but only because I have yet to give birth to anything (or anyone). The potential pain terrifies me!
Also, the captioned picture is classic. 😉
Should you ever go there, I wish you a very untraumatic, harmonious birth experience. 🙂 Glad you liked the photo…
Ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa! Men are wimps. Um, dentist for one hour of sort of discomfort instead of LABOR PAINS AND A PUSHING A BOWLING BALL OUT OF YOUR VAGINA? Dentist, please.
Funny how many people picked delivery room, though, isn’t it? And yeah. Men are totally wimps…
At the end of your post I said, “Really?!” I’m siding with your husband. I have a high tolerance for pain but the dentist – been there done that too many time. My shots have never been in favorable locations and I’ve had to say “I still feel that” with a mouth full of tools. So I’ve had a 10 lb baby with no epidural and I don’t know which I would prefer 😉 okay yes I do – neither!!!
Yeah, I’m wondering if it was all a fluke due to my favorable location… I was shocked that he thought it was painful. I may have just lucked out this time…
As a former dental assistant, I feel compelled to get nosy. Where was it? How deep? Because oftentimes, you don’t actually need anesthetic. For real. I almost never use it myself, because being numb for hours afterwards is SO annoying.
Here’s what I know, lady. It was in the top of my mouth, all the way back. Apparently it is a very “localized” spot, away from problematic areas- nerve endings or something weird? It also wasn’t deep- into the second layer? Something that begins with a d maybe? Apparently location is everything in dentistry, because I didn’t feel shit when she put the needle in.
The dentin. It goes: enamel, dentin, pulp. The pulp is the nerve and stuff. If it’s not too deep into the dentin, though, you usually don’t need to be numb. The drilling rarely hurts, and if it does, it’s usually just a quick little zing. But the anticipation of pain is the worst part for some people (maybe most people), so they just always numb unless you ask them not to. For your average filling, though, the needle hurts worse than the drilling.
Since I had a c-section, that’s an easy one to answer. Birth! But seriously, you’re right about being the wrong indicators of pain.
All day long in the dentist chair, especially since I always do the laughing gas! ;)-Ashley
I think once you’ve given birth, everything else pretty much pales in comparison. Pain? no biggie! Modesty? not needed! Funny post 🙂 And sorry about your cavity.
I remember, while still in unmedicated active labor, which had been going on for hours and hours, turning to my husband and saying, “It’s not as bad as my first year teaching!” So I think it goes First year teaching, Birth, Dentist.
Stephanie I too am terribly needle phobic despite having had two children. You think I’d get over it… nope.
You know what–such a tough call. All the numbing stuff doesn’t work that well in my mouth. Epidural though? Totally worked. Yet the recovery from the babies–much harder!
Loved this post!!
The only thing I’m taking away from this post is that because we seem to have so much in common, I will be getting my first cavity within the next two years. I’ll come back and re-read this when I’m in Novocaine hell.
Quite funny. Dental fear has its own value but a dentist must not make his patients fear, instead a dentist should be supportive and a mentor who could tell you the truth about the condition of your oral health.
now coming back to topic, of course men can never experience the “delivery room” experience and hence cant correlate to the dental pain.
Great blog. Keep sharing good stories with us.
Dr.Zack Nimri
Your comments about the dental office needing to team up with a marijuana dispensary were hilarious. At least, you made it to the age of 35 before ever having a cavity. That is still an accomplishment.
I love this post! I think it is hilarious you asked about teaming up with a dispensary…it’s really not a bad idea. Thanks for sharing and making me laugh!