I recently read a very interesting article titled, “Dear Stay at Home Moms: Shut the Eff Up.” Let me preface this by saying that I agree with so many of the author’s points; her article was extremely well-written, and I really like and respect this particular writer. (Like, I seriously love Susannah Lewis. She’s super-talented and very real.) I too feel that if a SAHM is so miserable with her life that she is constantly wallowing in negativity, she should most definitely consider pursuing part-time or full-time work, volunteering, getting a mother’s helper or babysitter if she can afford one, or just making some time for her personal needs like exercising or having a regular girls’ night (Stop laughing. It could totally happen.)
There is certainly a line between some relatable whining and being a flat-out Debby Downer. I am a strong believer in trying to find some goodness and beauty amidst whatever chaos or stress you might be dealing with. I have a daily gratitude practice. I’m not aΒ completeΒ asshole. But it likely won’t surprise you to hear me sayβnot for the first or last timeβthat I think complaining is a completely healthy practice.
I am not a stay-at-home-mom. I work part time, which is equivalent to both the best and worst of both worlds. I work out of necessityβmy income is not disposable. But that being said, I don’t think I would choose to stay at home. I’m not built that way. I would be the mother encapsulated in that article: a giant bundle of angst, frustration, and negativity. So please believe me when I say that I have tremendous respect for moms who stay home with their young children; I truly believe it is the hardest job of them all. I have several close SAHM friends, and I know that in their hearts, they are thrilled to be staying home with their kidsβtheyΒ choseΒ that life.
And yet, I absolutely never begrudge them their tirades about their lack of personal space, failed attempts at dinner, and self-imposed “Mommy time-outs” because they have reached their breaking point. I never, ever think,Β Why on Earth don’t they get a job if they hate this so much?Β
There was only one passage in Lewis’s article that bugged me:
I’d just like to hear one of these SAHMs say to me, “I am so blessed. I have a faithful husband, gorgeous and healthy children, a beautiful home, and I am fortunate enough to stay home and enjoy my blessings.” Just say that to me once per a instead of continually moaning about the dust accumulation on your furniture, the temper tantrums in Target and the gas you burned hauling your children to baseball, ballet and soccer practice.
I get the frustration with spending time with constant complainers, I really do. But for me, honestly, I hear plenty of that “I am so blessed.” bullshit every single day on Facebook, and it rarely gives me the warm fuzzies. I once saw one of my Facebook friends’ posts that read, “I live a charmed life.” and I almost threw up in my mouth. Really? A charmed life? That’s wonderful, really, but all the #blessed propaganda thrown in our faces these days is giving many of us a complex.
We read a mushy, heartfelt status updateΒ showing a gigantic bouquet some woman’s husband gave her for the anniversary of the first time he cooked her dinner, thanking him for being her “best friend and soulmate” and we wonder why our husband doesn’t bring us flowers. (Mine just did, for the record, for our wedding anniversary, lest someone think I’m throwing him under the bus. I’m speaking generally here, people.) We see photos of gorgeous mothers laughing with their matching-dress-clad, golden-haired twins, as we look at our own offspring, facedown on the kitchen floor, simultaneously screaming about the wrongly cut pizza and licking the tileΒ in her filthy, too-small, mismatched outfit. We are constantly bombarded with sound bites and snapshots of families who are “living the dream.” I don’t know about you, but I’m not really feeling a lack of this type of gratitude from the SAHM community.
In fact, I would so much rather hear the wry commentary of the dirty house, unwashed hair, Caillou-hating Mommy. It makes me feel normal, like less of a failure. I know, I know,Β everyoneΒ in the world isΒ so. freaking. tired.Β of hearing parents complain about parenting. I mean, how many times can we joke about how much we love our yoga pants and how all we want to do is watch Orange is the New Black after bedtime? Mommy-complaining is becomingΒ soΒ passΓ©.
But, you know what? It’s not. It’s normalizing. It’s a relief. It’s how women really reach out and connect with one another when they are struggling with parenting. I am confident that there are a whole slew of perfectly content mothers who seamlessly transitioned from a single career-focused life to their dream job of staying home with a baby. I’m not so worried about those ladies. I’m more concerned aboutΒ the moms who thought that motherhood would beΒ the answer to their feelings of emptiness who are now perplexed as to why the hole in their lives, their hearts, hasn’t gone away.
The mothers who used to feelΒ important and needed by other adults, who used to have first names, who used to dress nicely, stay organized, and have their shit together. The ones who cry in the shower because they are lonely, or bored, or exhausted, or feel like they are failing at the perfect mother thing. The mothers who can’t understand what’s wrong with them because, while they love their kids, they don’t always love being parents. The mothers who feel like whiplash victims because they simply can’t adjust to the rapid downshift and role changes brought on byΒ motherhood.
For a SAHM like that, it would be easy to fake it and happily nudge the mom next to her at the soccer game and say, “Man. I’m living the good life. My husband is so helpful, and I couldn’t ask for better kids. I am so blessed.” But maybe she’d feel less alone, more connected, and more like her old self if instead she said, “Don’t you wish they served alcohol at these games? My kids are driving me crazy, I haven’t had a minute to myself all goddamn week, and it would be great to pretend we were really at Happy Hour instead.”
Motherhood is all of the things.
There was an interesting counter to the “Shut the Eff Up” article from a woman who wished sheΒ couldΒ just “get a job”; you can read her perspective here. And I also read another beautifully-written, raw, poignant post from a working mom who reveals that she’s not the mother she thought she’d be. HerΒ words resonated with me to my core, as I so often feel that I too am not the mother I thought I’d be. I think that for many of us, we feel that we are failing to embody the maternal image we envisioned when we were children, and that stirs up feelings of deep shame, loneliness, and pain inside us. Every time I hear another mother confess that she is floundering gracelessly through motherhood as I am, I feel stronger. The deep truths of my dear friends build me up, bit by bit, until I feel less alone and less abnormal.
I don’t believe that in any other profession adults are chided for complaining about their jobs. After a tough day at the law office, you’d never hear a man scold the attorney next to him at the bar for complaining about theΒ high-paying job for which he should be thankful. Coworkers bond through their shared struggles, contempt for clients or coworkers, or the demands put upon them by their unreasonable boss. I suspect that, in spite of all their bluster, they are grateful to be employed. By no means should you let yourself slide into depression or pervasive negativity, anger, or anxiety. I am all for moms making changes in their lives so that they can feel whole, happier, and ultimately, be better parents. But go ahead and be real, SAHMsβyou’ll never get anything but a sympathetic ear from me if you need to air your dirty laundry (both literal and metaphorical) next to me in the Target Pharmacy line. I feel you.
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I am a SAHM and I do feel blessed however I am also stressed. A lot. There are times I wonder if I am making the right decision, perhaps I am not cut out for this. Worse is when another parent talks themselves up through chipping away the way I parent.
I try hard never to judge what other moms are doing (at least out loud!) in hopes I will not be judged.
I prefer to be real. Some days are awesome other days so not. I do not like the idea of presenting a fantasy or the worst of the worst.
Enjoyed how you shared your ideas, totally got me thinking π
I’ve been at home with my daughter until recently. I really relate to wondering if you are cut out for it or not. I feel that way all the time. I think it’s because the bar for motherhood is set so high that we are always failing. We think we aren’t doing it well. The truth is we are. We just have bad days and bad moments, but for some reason we feel like we shouldn’t.
The judgement from other people doesn’t help either.
Glad to get you thinking! I prefer to be real, as well. π
wow. i feel like my spouse and I are the only blue collar workers out there. i HAD to go back to work when our children were 8 wks old. There is NO choice. If you have the choice, you are blessed. It amazes me that people fight back and forth when there is one.
I wish there was a blog for Mothers who Must work, cause I’m in the same boat.
I was fortunate to be a stay at home mom until my boys went to school. I think the oldest was about 15 before I could look back and see it as a good thing. Working mom, SAHM, single mom, married mom, parenting is hard and I think we could all use a sympathetic ear far more than hearing someone constantly brag about how perfect their life is.
I feel like every parental option has it’s struggles and challenged. Parenting is tough no matter how you do it! I agree…we need to listen more and sympathize. Most of the time we just want to be heard and acknowledged!
Hear, hear. I couldn’t agree more.
My husband not only didn’t bring me flowers on our anniversary, but he purchased a BRAND NEW plane ticket to fly home early from vaca – on our anniversary because he thought we were flying home earlier than he’d realized and he wanted to wrap some things up at work. And ya know what? I am blessed because I got to go over to YOUR house without worrying about whether he was feeling left out! Win π
Anyway, you know I get this. And I agree that working part-time is the best and the worst. It’s like I feel like I suck at both parts of my life. I have a little sticker on my mirror though… and sometimes, I even believe that I am enough. Go figure. <3 you.
I love that sticker. And thanks for that. xo
Wow, thank you for this lovely rebuttal (of sorts, I get that you liked the essay in parts but also not every point). I haven’t read the essay, and probably won’t because it might make me a bit nuts, but I’m glad to have read your take on it, and I may check out those other articles.
As a SAHM I feel both blessed π and frustrated by my daily life, but I am mindful that I chose this and feel fortunate that I have that choice. that said, I have my complaints for sure ! And good to know I can freely vent them to you without judgement!
I love your point about lawyers and other professionals being able to complain and no one shutting them down the way our society so often shuts down mothers.
Thanks again for your honest take on all this.
-Dana
You are so welcome- thank YOU for such a thoughtful comment. Your comments always feel like hugs for me. xo
LOVE it. Seriously. You hit the nail on the head with all of the same feelings I was having about her article. Especially the last part about how others in “real” jobs are allowed to complain all they want. But, we aren’t. I read that other article about not being the mother she dreamed of being, and loved it too. But, it did leave me feeling depressed for both me and her. What I struggle with is that I KNOW that my job is important. I want it to fulfill me completely. I think it’s THE most important thing in the world. But, the feeling JOY every day is impossible for me. Yet, it’s what society expects of me. I think it’s one of the lessons I’m supposed to learn in this life, how to just find joy in the simpleβ¦even when it sucks. I just haven’t achieved it yet. I’m so glad I found your blog. It always makes me feel like I’m not alone in my feelings. If only you lived in my neighborhoodβ¦.then it would be perfection. π
I agree- perfection!! And thanks so much for your thoughts; I’m really glad this resonated with you!
A-MEN!
π
Oh my goodness, I love this. I too have many almost-threw-up-in-my-mouth moments. The worst are my FB “blessed” friends, who whenever I see them – tell me how miserable they are! It happens so often, that I am convinced that theses people who lived charmed lives are the most unhappy of us all!
I think you may be right, Allie! Thanks for your comment !
I’m better than the mom I thought I would be, but I still feel “less than” because this wasn’t the role I thought I’d have at this stage in my life. I was content to work at a regular job 2 months after my son was born until he was four but then it became one of those unreasonable boss situations and I quit. I felt blessed to be able to do that, but haven’t always felt blessed. To me the last five years has felt more like unemployment than being a SAHM – there are ups and downs. I feel like I am a wonderful mom but I don’t feel like the greatest person because I chose to quit my job but I didn’t chose to be a SAHM and work with my husband. I just have to remind myself of the difference I am making in my household and know that what I’ve given up hasn’t been lost in vain.
It is most definitely not in vain! It’s so complicated, isn’t it? So many layers…
I really love this post. I think motherhood is the only “profession” you are never supposed to complain about. I don’t know why that is. It can be a tough gig. The whole reason I started blogging was to connect with other mothers because I was really lonely and tired and sometimes bored. I can’t even count the number of times reading a post on parenting calmed my nerves or made me feel “normal.” Not to mention the friendships I have made through bonding over shared parenting struggles. I am all for complaining. That stress has to be relieved some where!
Thank you for including my piece in your post.
You are so welcome- I loved your post and am still thinking about it! xoxo
What a great post. You captured so much on both sides of the fence. I’m a “work from home” mom but I’ve done full time and part time. We’re all hybrids trying to find the life that fits us best. I remember when I was pregnant with my son and talking to my full-time working friend who confessed that working made her a better mom so that when she was home with her daughter, she felt like she could focus on that time. When you’re home with them all day, it’s easy for your appreciation to get diluted, especially when you end up comparing yourselves to those that share their highlights on Facebook.
Once, when I was complaining about my appearance, someone mentioned that I always looked so good in my pictures on Facebook. I said – it’s because I only post the good ones! As a blog writer, my more popular posts are those where we can all relate to a less-then-Norman Rockwell life. Thanks for writing this!
Thank you so much for that thoughtful comment– I really appreciate it! And I agree- we are ALL hybrids trying to piece together a life and a balance that works for us. Glad you stopped by!
I love this post. You’ve done such a great job articulating your response to the article, and I completely agree with you. What bothers me the most about “Dear SAHMs, Shut the Eff Up” is that it’s so inflammatory. I don’t see what purpose it possibly serves to re-ignite the so-called Mommy Wars. Telling an entire group of people to “shut the eff up,” even if the writer belongs to that group, just seems unnecessarily harsh to me. So thank you for writing such a reasonable response.
I think the overall purpose maybe bugged me a little, too. Thanks so much for that comment, Kate!
Yes!! I agree with everything you say. I complain so much sometimes that I start irritating myself, but I’s way rather listen to someone else complaining about the same things, because it makes me feel like I am not on an island. And I’d way rather hear complaining than the throw up in your mouth (that was funny) FB updates about how wonderful their lives are. I get that some of that gratitude is real, but in some cases I see it as an advertisement that all is not what it seems. I loved this Stephanie!!!!
Thanks, Susan! I think that maybe gratitude is more real when it’s sort of private, and in your own heart. Isn’t there something like that written about praying alone in the Bible? Clearly I’m the wrong person to answer that question… π
I have to admit, I’m on Susannah’s side on this one.
These days I’d much rather read about someone’s happy, loving life than all the whining and complaining. Sorry it’s giving you or anyone else a complex but really, there ARE plenty of things to be thankful for versus whining all the time. One of them is the very fact you were able to get pregnant and have those children. I/we can’t. My husband and I tried for three years and nothing happened. We both were checked and we’re both fine. Mother Nature has simply told us no.
With all the negativity, whining and complaining these days by angry or depressed moms I personally have to shut off my laptop or unlike pages. I have zero interest in all this “Oh, poor me. I made this choice to have kids and now I’m going to whine about how annoying and frustrating it all is.”
Yes, I do understand we all get stressed and frustrated at times. Fair enough. We all need to vent at times as well. But doing it constantly and/or daily on social media and blogs? No thanks. I’d rather be looking for ways to appreciate my life and fix the things that are bringing me down rather than whining on social media.
I understand and respect your perspective, Kim. I always think about families who haven’t been able to have children when I write things like this. But ultimately that demographic is not for whom I am writing. And I’m sure there are things you, or others, complain about that would make me feel resentful. I don’t believe that venting or complaining is any indication of a lack of gratitude. At all. End of story. And I wish that moms letting off steam want so offensive to people who haven’t been able to have children, but I get that it is. But I will continue to write about frustrations and the less than amazing parts of parenthood, and I will continue to not judge women who are struggling. What does shaming accomplish, for anyone?
Well, obvs, you know I am totally in support of sharing the less-than-blessed parts of motherhood. I suppose there’s a difference between complaining, and being honest. I can understand how complaining about how you drive your kids to all their expensive and beneficial extracurriculars can be jarring to someone who can barely afford all that even with their job…. I think we need to agree that motherhood is hard whether we work outside the home or not, and that complaining about anything (jobs, spouses, kids, etc.) is not attractive. But honest talk about real lives, that’s what we need more of. And I’m glad you’re leading the conversation!! π xoxo
I think you make a great point- honesty and complaining aren’t exactly the same. There is a subtle line that indicates what is cathartic and real and what is negative and unproductive. Thanks for making me reflect on that a little!
It’s post like this that help me stay centered and sane! Thank you, Stephanie. As usual you’re the eloquent equivalent of “nothing but net.” Excuse the sports reference. It was the first thing that came to mind. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Haha.
I’m still laughing from your comment! Loved it. π
It’s funny, I read the other article before reading yours. It was fantastically written, and I did agree with most of her points. So I was curious to see how I’d feel about your post…and I love it even more!
You totally hit the nail on the head. Yes, constant, poor-me complaining gets tiring. For the most part, I’d much rather hear another parent talk about the challenges of parenting than how “blessed” they are.
I got laid-off last summer and decided to give staying home with my 4 and 1 year-olds a try. I was pretty miserable; it was the hardest year of my life. On the positive side, it gave me lots of inspiration for blogging.
This year, my oldest is in kindergarten all day, and my youngest – while still challenging – is not as difficult. I have several hours a week to myself. It’s so much better, but now I feel like I have nothing to write about – who wants to hear about (barf) “blessed” I am that I got to go to yoga this morning?
Anyway, great post all around.
I so appreciate hearing that from you! Thanks so much for your comment!
This is my first time reading your blog. A friend posted the 3 year olds
kinda suck on my FB feed and I really enjoyed it.
I really like and vibe with your POV here on SAHM’s. I have been a SAHM for 7 years, with three sons.
It’s a total chaotic frat house.
Love them and glad I can do this but damn it’s hard out here sometimes, right?!
Anyhoo, I sucked at moming today and was beating myself up (mom guilt is the effing worst). This post helped me out.
I mean you’re just gonna suck sometimes. Tomorrow is another day.
Thanks and I look forward to reading more.
I’m so glad it resonated with you! I’m glad you found your way here, and I hope you come back again soon! Thanks!
I say, keep it real. Some days are really easy, when the stars align, and OMG no one is whining. Most days, I want to tear my hair out, and wish I hadn’t yelled, or told someone to please get off the table before you fall down and I have to rush you to the ER. I share both the good, the bad, the ugly, the amazing, the hell-yeses. Because that’s life. Charmed? No. Blessed with a side of shit stick? Yes.
So I’m with you. Let’s all have a whinge once in a while. π
Blessed with a side of shit stick is my new favorite phrase. Thanks, Alison! π
Stephanie,
I absolutely Loved this post, and I am 100% with you on each of these points. In fact, this is one of the primary reasons I started blogging.
As moms, whether we work or not, we need to feel like we’re not alone in the way we feel. Of course we love our kids and of course we feel blessed, but that doesn’t mean that motherhood isn’t also soul-crushingly hard sometimes.
That comisseration with our peers is what gets us through those tough moments. I don’t know what I would do without it!
Have I told you lately how much I love your blog? Because I do. π
Brittany
Aw, thanks, Brittany. I really appreciate that comment! xo
Thanks. Thanks so much. I felt the same way about that article. There was truth in it, but many generalizations. If you were to find a mom at any given moment, what youwould see is a snapshot. We are more complicated than that! My life is messy And a blessing.
You are so right about how complicated it is- messy, AND a blessing. π
Can a stay-at-home Dad get in on this? Enjoyed your thoughts. Totally relatable.
My son, a 3 year old Whirligig, just started attending Preschool a few days a week, and I find myself both missing him and trying to see just how long I can stay away before they call me.
Of COURSE you can get in on this! Welcome! π π Yep- the dichotomy is crazy, isn’t it?
Well, I have to say that anyone who has to go out of their way to post an angry article about this is… not going to be on my radar. I am unable to comprehend why anyone would need to share negative opinions about others thoughts and feelings on motherhood- and what any mom shares about her journey. Why on earth would one do this?
It’s all about respect. Period. Respect the mama.
I like statuses that say “I am BLESSED!” And I also like the ones that say “This SUCKS!”- because really? It’s their story, their opinions and feelings of this motherhood gig- so I respect it. And support it. And will click the ‘like’ to show that.
I appreciate your opinion- as a mom about your life as a mom and your experience as a mom and how it affects you. And I expect the same in return.
Great post here Stephanie!
Did I never comment the first time I read this? OMG. Really? Complaining IS a relief – well said. While I work part-time, well, I complain all over the place about that too. Thanks for making me feel better about it xo
I’m back because I realized (after I totally clicked on the link because I couldn’t STAND to not look at the post) that the woman who wrote it is A DEAR FRIEND OF MINE!!! Now- with that said? I still think that as much as I ADORE this woman and her wit and heart, I really don’t think anyone should be saying negative things about anyone… motherhood or life. Why start a fight? Why- unless it is directed right at you, should anyone have to complain about other people and what they do with their lives? That’s just my take.
But I had to come back, because I found the paradoxical dichotomy (I thought that sounded pretty cool) is that the writer is actually one of my favorite people ever.
So I will continue to respect and love her and support her!!! Just not on board with that piece, after the shock waves it has created.
Great article! I hate parenting! I’m absolutely crap at it! And just once, can’t someone post a “share, if you don’t like your kids” on FB? I’ve worked and stayed at home and they both mean I still spend entirely too much time having to play monopoly, have my hair braided, drink bad tea at imaginary tea parties! Discuss the latest Xbox rubbish! Mum once told me these were the best years of my life and I was like, WTF??? Shoot me now! But you know what? She was right…because now my eldest is 15!!! He’s awful! I’m sure he’s possessed! And I have two more about to hit puberty The next few years are gonna be hell! Complain?? Bring it on!
My husband and I tried for 3 years before having our beautiful son, most people only told me about the good and that everything is just wonderful. I did not find this, I have never yelled or hit my son, I have been a sahm for 4 years and no body in the world knows how hard I find it, I cry at night while my husband sleeps and in the day when my son naps. I have been smiling on the outside and crying on the inside this whole time, even though he is a wonderful boy and never.given us any trouble, I don’t think I was ment to be a mother, even though everybody we know says what a natural mother I am, its all fake. I wil continue to love, play and devote my life to my family and am so glad I can vent on sites like this. Oh I can have no more children and was.lucky to have my son so I know I must sound awful.
I’m glad you’re able to vent, too. It feels good to be able to share the truth about something we feel so guilty about, doesn’t it? You’re not alone. There are many mothers who feel like imposters, who wonder if they should have had kids, and may even regret it. I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling and have felt like you have to keep it all inside. I hope you have someone you can confide in or a support group. You don’t sound awful- I think you are brave and wise for sharing your experience so honestly. Hugs to you, mama.
Thank you so much, you are so very kind! I go to therapy every fortnight from being abused as a child and am now moving on to this issue, I think it should help. I really love everyone here is supportive and I am really enjoying your posts and your daughters are just too cute!
I’m guilty of complaining about my son occasionally but definitely not as much as I’d like. NOONE EVER told me how hard 1 and a half was. He doesn’t respond to most punishment, he barely listens to me and daddy works a lot so naturally he hung the moon and stars and getting him to discipline him is like pulling teeth AND, it hurts when he doesn’t ever want me when daddy is home, it really sucks but if I say most of these things in Facebook someone will tell me to stop complaining and judge me and think me a bad mom. I LOVE being a stay at home mom I CHOSE this but I’m tired of being the bad guy and I wish he’d give me a little more credit. :/
Thanks for your superb article, Stephanie! Hey to all you moms, home or working or half working! I’m a stay at home mom and for some years my husband was stay at home dad. My two boys are in online school. I do love yoga pants. And some days I completely suck at being a mom. My husband (who also sucks at being a dad on occasion) bought me nail polish the other day which is awesome. Not just because I like it but it was on clearance! Some days I feel like I don’t exist as the real me anymore, and some days are filled with good things like talking to grown ups that I am not related to! Haha… but I digress. You know what’s odd to me though ? When people hear that I’m stay at home and my kids are in online school they always think I’m a Christian, and I am not. Anyone have that experience? Just curious and rambling….
Thank you for this. I laughed out loud at “we look at our own offspring, facedown on the kitchen floor, simultaneously screaming about the wrongly cut pizza and licking the tile in her filthy, too-small, mismatched outfit.” Reading the hilarious ways other moms describe their blessed-but-crazy lives always makes me feel better.
I really appreciate that! I’m so glad it made you laugh! π
I needed this today. My husband unintentionally broke my heart today. He said, no one wants to hear about our kids poop in reference to our recent potty training escapades. He was giving me a hard time but it struck me hard. I am a SAHM and it was by no choice of my own. My oldest is suffering with a rare degenerate disease that impairs every major body system except her heart. She has the strongest heart. She is so complex she requires 18/day nursing. When she was born I had no choice but to stop working. I had barely begun finding my career and now I know I may never have one. When my son was born 2 and a half years later with eye cancer that reality was confirmed. Their medical needs are endless. My third perfectly healthy child will turn 1 on Wednesday. God I love them but they are truly all I have to talk about, every little up and down with them is all I have to share. I have felt so much less than myself for so long that at least having this common struggle and joy to share with others is all that keeps me afloat. To think no one wants to hear that from me… That one hurt. I can’t tell you what this blog did for me in this moment. Thank you for that and the good chuckle. By the way, my kids lick everything.
I’m so sorry to hear that your husband unintentionally hurt your feelings– that sucks. But I’m happy to hear that reading this helped in some way, and I have to say it made my day to know that this post helped somebody to feel less alone. How are moms supposed to *not* talk about our kids all the time? They are our life, and we deserve to share what we are going through. And I totally disagree with your husband– I think there are people who absolutely DO want to hear about it. And who knows? Maybe by talking about it, you’re making somebody else feel less isolated. You’ve got a full plate, mama– best of luck to you finding balance and taking care of yourself. xo
Thank you for your kindness! Keep inspiring!
Dear Lord how did mom’s years ago survive motherhood/parenthood without social media to advertise their whoes or if not posting all their whoes, and how they need wine and coffee to survive motherhood, they are trying to get everyone to believe how #blessed their lives are. I wish everyone would just be quiet and raise your kids.
Ok, I’ll start with the fact that I’m so over people being “blessed” – that’s like saying HE is picking and choosing who gets the great jobs and who gets underpaid or to be underemployed.
I do feel that I’m FORTUNATE to get to stay home with my kids, but it’s also because we have no relatives within a few states from where we live now, and my husband travels for work.
And yea, I’d love to sit next to the mom asking for drinks at the games. (In fact, I may have suggested bloody mary’s field side at an early soccer tournament, so I may BE that mom.)