This summer I plan to spend hours poring over the Listen To Your Mother YouTube channel, mostly so I can relive my incredible experience last night.
I was so fortunate to be a part of the Listen To Your Mother Denver cast; this is the first year LTYM has been in Denver, and the 11 other writers performing their pieces in the show were simply amazing. If you aren’t familiar with LTYM, check out their website. The brilliant Ann Imig started the show in Madison in 2010, and it has since grown to include 24 cities around the country this year. The catchphrase for LTYM is, “Giving Mother’s Day a Microphone,” but the basic idea is that writers, both men and women, mothers and non-mothers, read their original pieces about motherhood.
Our cast was diverse, and so very talented; the stories shared included writers’ own experiences with motherhood, memories of their mothers, adoption stories, experiences as a step-mother, the process of coming out to one’s mother, each with a different style and tone. Some of the pieces made me cry every single time I heard them, at rehearsals and performance night, and I was in awe of the writers’ ability to continue reading in spite of the overwhelming emotion. Some of the pieces drew raucous laughter from the crowd, and other performances invoked absolute stillness and reflection.
It was one of the most rewarding, invigorating, and humbling experiences of my life.
I had one regret in the weeks leading up to the show. My own mother wasn’t going to be in attendance. When I breathlessly informed her that I had been chosen for the cast, my parents had already planned out their next two visits to Denver- they would be spending Easter with us, and returning at the end of May for my daughter’s dance recital. Mom and Dad live in South Dakota, and the 10 hour drive, while manageable, is not ideal for visiting twice in one month.
“I wish you could be there,” I remarked wistfully (and perhaps a bit pointedly.) When my mom did not immediately jump in with, “Of course we’ll be there!” I forced myself to be quiet. What kind of a selfish daughter would request yet another 10 hour trip, when they had already been so generous with their time?
I childishly harbored a secret fantasy that my parents would drive out to surprise me. With each passing week, the fact that this dream of mine was simply not realistic became more and more apparent. My mom had just traveled to visit my grandma in Iowa the week before, came home for a couple of days, turned around and drove with Dad to visit friends in Minneapolis, and would be heading back to Iowa the following week for my grandma’s birthday. It was a ridiculous notion to think that an extra trip to Denver could be squeezed in there.
Still, I clung to the possibility that all was not lost, and even convinced myself that they might turn around after their return from Minneapolis on Sunday to drive to Denver Monday. (Don’t worry, I’m seeking therapy for my extreme narcissism and irrational beliefs.) By Tuesday morning, it was clear that I had to give up on this stupid fantasy of mine.
My text message to Mom, “I miss you!”
On the way to the show, my fellow castmemembers chatted about how their own mothers would be in attendance, and I felt a pang of envy. “Will your mom be there?” one woman asked, and I felt myself flush for a moment. “No, my parents were just out here, and they’ll be back in a few weeks for my daughter’s recital,”I explained, feeling simultaneously defensive and disappointed. When we arrived, I asked someone to snap a photo of me standing in front of the theater. “I’m going to text it to my mom, with a passive-aggressive “I miss you” message,” I informed her.
Just then I heard my brother’s familiar voice, “Can I take your picture?” It was two hours before showtime, and I wasn’t expecting to see him yet. I whipped around to discover my brother, his partner, and my mom, beaming at me just feet away.
I wish I could adequately capture what happened next, but my adrenaline and emotional rush make the next few minutes a surreal recollection. Needless to say, I was elated, shocked, and moved to near-tears. (I had spent way too much time perfecting my eye makeup to destroy it by crying.) My brother at least managed to capture it photographically:
The Surprise Reunion
I cannot express how much it meant to me to have my mom at the performance. Not only had I been hoping she would witness my own contribution, but I was so proud of the show that I desperately wanted my family and friends to see it.
Flowers from my sweet friend
In addition to my mom, my brother, and his partner, I was supported by my husband and 7 other close friends who came to watch the show. Walking on stage to hear their familiar voices cheering was one of the most uplifting moments of the evening. I felt so exhilarated, and so grateful.
It’s not often that we get surprises in our adult life, and the fact that my husband, brother, and parents were able to pull this off was nothing short of miraculous, considering the fact that my mom and I talk on the phone nearly daily. But they did it, and it was a moment I will remember always.
The LTYM YouTube channel will be featuring the 2013 performances this summer- I will keep you posted, as you don’t want to miss the opportunity to watch performances from all 24 participating cities. In addition to reliving our fabulous show in Denver, I can’t wait to see what the other cities had to offer. Listen To Your Mother is an absolutely inspiring concept, and will always consider myself lucky to have been a part of something so monumental.
So, thanks, Ann Imig, for your brilliant idea. And thanks, Mom, for flying to Denver to surprise me. It was one of the most meaningful gifts you have ever given me. I love you.
Welcome Back to Finish the Sentence Friday!
Your hosts:
Me from Mommy, for Real
Janine from Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
Kate from Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine?
Dawn from Dawn’s Disaster
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- Link Up Your Posts Below with This Week’s Sentence Prompt.
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Next week’s sentence is: “When I was younger, I wanted to…”
Oh Stephanie, I was secretly hoping as I read this that your mom would surprise you and so glad you did!! Huge congrats on being a part of Listen to Your Mother and definitely going to try to listen to the Youtube Channel to see you!! 🙂
I was so excited! I felt bad about how disappointed I was that she wasn’t going to be there…
That was a very sweet story, Stephanie. I teared up when you wrote about your Mom surprising you. Now that we’re getting close to moving away from my mom I need more stories about connecting with moms over long distances. This story helped me feel more positive about it:) Also, Edgemont is where my mom lived as a kid.
Yes, we are definitely as close as ever, and we are 10 hours apart! Thank God for phone calls, texts, emails, and FB. You will stay close, I promise.
Just sitting here crying reading this.
OH! That makes me want to cry…
Oh, so very sweet! How wonderful that you have this close relationship with your mother. And that you were able to be a part of this amazing LTYM cast! Congratulations all around lady! You are awesome!
Thanks, Tracy, I really appreciate that!
Tears. I could feel,the desperation in your post and did not at all expect the twist at the end! How wonderful that your mom could surprise you and be there for you. Can’t wait to see the YouTube!
I’m so glad you didn’t expect the ending! Neither did I! Desperation is definitely the right word!
That is so AWESOME! I loved reading this and hearing how everything went. I was thinking about you that day and evening. I’m so glad it went so well. How awesome to have such awesome support for you when sharing your story. It’s so cool when people can pull off surprises that you’re the recipient of. I never think anyone can surprise me, but my husband managed to for our engagement. Maybe I should blog that story sometime.
Please blog the story…please?! Thanks for all your support and encouragement, friend!
sobbing and blubbering as I read this, what a beautiful family connection you have. oh, sobbing again.
Awwww!!! Thanks for sharing that! Now *I* feel teary!
Stephanie, your mom was so afraid that she was the one who was going to “spill the beans”! She was so excited about being there for the performance and surprising you!!! It is a total joy to share “girl stories” with a friends as it brings such depth and richness to life. Think of how many generations ago YOUR story started and the impact it will have on the generations to come. Congratulations and cherish the moments 🙂 Hugs, Mary Beth
Mary Beth, I am *shocked* that she managed to pull it off! It is a surprise I will remember forever! Your perspective, as always, is both refreshing and beautiful!
So, so happy your mom could be there, and to surprise you, no less! That couldn’t have been easy. I’m glad to hear it was a wonderful experience for you. Looking forward to seeing it!
Thanks Christine! It made the whole thing even more special…
She gets the Mom of the Year award for sure!
No kidding!
Reading this made me weepy. I am so happy your mom got to be a surprise guest for you. While I have watched LTYM there has never been one near enough to me to attend or attempt to participate. However, even if I did or could my mother could not. She passed away in 2011.
I am looking you up on the YouTube Channel – what an amazing story and amazing experience! I am so glad that your mother was there! Congratulations!!
I’m so happy for you and for her she was able to be there! I often feel like that with my mother living so far away from me and it must have been so rewarding for both of you. I will check out LTYM on You Tube, I’ve been hearing so much about it on Twitter, I am really curious! Is there a link to your performance?
The links on the You Tube channel right now are from last year- I will let you know as soon as this year’s performances are up! Just try and stop me! (you guys will all be sick of me sharing the link, I guarantee it…)
Congratulations, Steph!!! What an awesome story!!! Just loved the wonderful surprise that they gave you!! 🙂
Thanks Roshni! It was fantastic!
I’m so proud of you for rocking Listen to Your Mother and so excited for you that your mom surprised you with a visit. Beautiful stuff, friend. Chuckled at your wanting a photo so you could send your mom a passive-agressive “I miss you” message. So cute.
And I can’t wait to see you speak on YouTube!
Thanks, pal! Yep, I’m a pro at being passive-aggressive. Go me!
I love these kinds of surprises! I remember showing up at the airport once to pick up my Dad (my parents live in Asia), all the while thinking my Mum would surprise me by being there too. But she wasn’t. As we approached the elevator for the parking lot, I heard my Mum say, “what about me?!” behind me and I almost died. It was an awesome surprise.
I’m so glad your Mom was able to make it! And I can’t wait to see your big debut!!!!
I got chills reading that! I love surprises too!
Yay Stephanie – I’m so happy for you! Glad the show was a success and that your mom and family were there for you. I was secretly glad to know that you harbor the same irrational beliefs and narcissistic thoughts as I do 🙂 Well, I guess not secretly glad, since I just spilled my guts on your comment form. And BTW – your red sandals are hot!
Thanks Dana! 😀 And the shoes were totally worth it, even though as a 5’11 woman, I rarely wear heels and could easily have died wearing them. And cheers to our collective narcissism!
I am so glad your mother could get there. What a fantastic surprise!! This sounds interesting, I will have to check it out. Congratulations on your selection. I’m sure you were fantastic!!
http://agutandabutt.blogspot.com/
Thanks, Betty! It was incredible… (the whole experience, not my performance. I’m not *that* narcissistic!)
Aaaand we’re crying. Again. You make me do that too much!
Loved it on Facebook, love it here, and you are one leggy, hot Mama! HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!
I love you more and more each day. In a good way, not a creepy way. Thanks for your comment, friend!
very cool
hey! when that is LTYM video is up, you so have to let us know, (the Doctrine) is kinda into using the youtube… definitely will do a Post for that event.
nice work, yo
Just try and stop me! Thanks for the support!
Looking forward to checking out the show!
Oh, this brought me to tears! (I’m not wearing any eye makeup so it’s okay). I cannot tell you how much I love that she surprised you. How lovely and meaningful and just beautiful. (and I love that you showed us the photo you had take alone to text to her…. hahahaha…oh that was just fantastic)
Mostly, I am just so happy that your mom was there for you and you felt so loved and supported by her and your friends. What a glorious thing!! Happy Mother’s Day!! –Lisa
Happy Mother’s Day to you too!
First things first – you look so fab in that dress! And your hair! Nice package, as my hubs would say.
Second, I totally feel you on the mom thing. Before she died, she did her best to be wherever and whenever I asked, from helping us move to helping me cope with pregnancy loss. I still secretly wish every day that she will appear on my doorstep. Like something out of a soap opera. 🙂
p.s. Thanks for introducing me to LTYM.
What a lovely story! I’m so glad for you and for your happy ending! When I read something like this, I recover/reinforce my belief in humanity and human values. So nice all round! See you soon!
So cool! And I loved that your mother showed up and surprised you! Just plain wonderful! <3
Stephanie, I LOVED this post!!! Love, love, LOVE that your mom made it. Moms rule. Also, I loved: Your polka dot dress and red shoes, the way you NAILED your reading (really, it was Ah-MAZING) and your correct use of “poring over.” My inner geek is rejoicing over the last one. And also, one last thing, love that you were trolling You Tube for LTYM readings because I was doing the same thing Monday night, just needing to feel that again.