All I want for Christmas is a full night sleep,
A self-cleaning house,
And a full-time nanny.
A chauffeur, masseuse, and chef
To cook my meals for me,
Or even just the hubs to pack school lunches.
It seems so long since I could laugh
Without peeing my pants just a little
Gosh, oh gee, how happy I’d be
With my 25-year-old metabolism
All I want for Christmas is my pre-baby boobs,
Great hair everyday, and a flat tummy.
Actually, scratch that, I’ll take a beach vacation (without the kids),
Or even just to grocery shop alone for once.
If my kids could get along when they’re playing,
And for crying out loud, just flush and close the lid,
And listen to the words that I’m saying,
“Do your homework, dinner’s ready, pick up your toys, kid!”
All I want for Christmas is Frozen-mania to end,
Not to mention Paw Patrol,
For my kid to potty train herself.
Pre-assembled toys with all their parts would really be swell,
But most of all I wish Christmas would be over!
Many thanks to Decia, Elizabeth, Kelley, Danelle, Heather, Sarah, Lisa, Anna, Kristi, Allie, Karen, Sarah, Julie, Amanda, Dana, Jill, Hollie, Stephanie, JoAnna, Heidi, Rochelle, Kristy, Juliet, Joan, Jenn, Erin, Jeannine, and Cristi for chiming in to help write this one!
There were SO many good ones I couldn’t quite fit in. The ability to shower anytime I wanted…a whole day alone with nothing to do… a sock sorter (may I add someone to just put my freaking laundry away for me??), for my kid to know I’m right, to sleep until 8 am, for the husband to get up with the kid, for the kid to use her inside voice…
I want to hear from YOU now! What would you add?
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Addendum: Let’s promise not to brag about said items on this list that we might already have!
What an awesome way to start my Monday morning! I love it, Stephanie. And thank you for not identifying who authored each line:)
Grinning over Dana’s comment. Brilliant ditty yet again Stephanie. 19 years on and I’m still waiting for that flat tummy to reappear. Oh who am I kidding. I never had one. However I’d take back the one I once had in a trice. Santa? Are you listening?
Perfect!!!!! Love it.
What’s wrong with Paw Patrol? My three year old is just into it now, and I think it’s cute. But with all things, I’m sure I’ll be sick of it before him. :/ I love these songs!! Never stop doing them. I can appreciate how you asked other parents for ideas. They nailed the full range. Unfortunately, I’m starting to wish for Christmas to be over, too.
hahaha…this is hilarious!
YAY to pre-baby boobs and my 25-year old metabolism!!! 🙂 Great job sweet one!! I love it!