If you know me or have read any of my previous summer posts, you know that I LOVE summer. For real. But that doesn’t mean that my summer isn’t filled with moments that are memorable for um, not-so-magical reasons. Because, kids. So, shout-out to the old school “Pictured/Not Pictured” social media bit with a special summer montage of all the humiliation disappointment disgust wonder of our time together making memories these past few months. Let’s begin.

Pictured: A fun-filled 5-day road trip with friends, filled with hiking, beautiful scenery, and adventure!

Not Pictured: My kids falling down, tripping, or bumping their heads 800 f*cking times a day.

Pictured: Amazing! We see buffalo up close, in nature!!

Not Pictured: The kids do not give two shits.

Pictured: Tailgating in school parking lot before back-to-back children’s dance recitals.

Not Pictured: Enduring approximately 26 minutes of the song “Hand Clap.”

Pictured: Enjoying that magical bubble thingie at the butterfly house/aquarium.

Not Pictured: Pouting, sulking, and yes, actual weeping because a goddamn butterfly didn’t land on them. AGAIN.

Pictured: Yes, another gorgeous hand-picked flower from the garden to go behind Mommy’s ear!

Not Pictured: Me drinking vodka in the driveway with a wilted dead flower still behind my ear.

Pictured: Having so much fun organizing shit by color at the Children’s Museum!!!

Not Pictured: For real crying meltdown when toddler destroys tidy color-coded system.

Pictured: Super fun day at the pool!

Not Pictured: Kid One crying because water got in her face, Kid Two crying because Kid One is too scared to go down any waterslides with her.

Pictured: Me having a super sentimental moment with my kid at my birthday dinner.

Not Pictured: Said child eats precisely jack shit at the dinner we paid $120 for.

Pictured: Road trip rock climbing adventure on our beautiful scenic mountain vacation. (Hmm, do I detect a fake smile, perhaps a foretaste of the feast to come?)

Not Pictured: Despondent and dramatic sulking alone atop the majestic rocks just moments later because who the f*ck can even remember why.

Pictured: Riding the 1880s train in the Black Hills, what a super-cool entirely overpriced adventure!

Not Pictured: Angsty pouting because tween child across the aisle is eating a candy bar and playing on her phone and your parents are assholes who don’t let you eat candy bars at nine a.m. and also you don’t even have a phone so your life suuuuuucks.

Pictured: Having such a magical time at the Renaissance Festival OMG is that an actual unicorn?

Not Pictured: Whining and crying because Mommy and Daddy won’t buy you allthemagicalthings and also it looks like it might rain which is a DISASTER.

Pictured: Me having such a fun summer tiiiiimmmme!

Not Pictured: Me losing my f*cking mind.

Pictured: Celebrating at a beloved family member’s wonderful wedding!

Not Pictured: The decline of the evening with a stance I like to call “Hangry Gargoyle.” Oh, wait, we do have a picture of that. Here it is.

OK, lay it on me. What were your best “pictured/not pictured” moments of summer?

Come join the Mommy, for Real community on Facebook. And sign up below to receive my new blog posts in your inbox.

Click to access the login or register cheese